Obstacles

We live in a country where high school graduation is not always a guarantee, let alone college graduation. That's why I am going to feel a wonderful sense of self-accomplishment next year when I get my bachelor's degree and certified license in teaching. However, there is an even greater reason I will feel that sense of joy, a reason that also contributes to my constant frustration.

I graduated high school in 2003. That's right, I am almost 30 years old and haven't even finished college yet. It isn't for lack of trying, though. Right out of high school I attended a small, two-year community college that didn't even have my major. Because that's what you do right after high school, right? You go to college. I have since convinced myself that actually it is okay to wait, but that is a discussion for another time. In the second semester I decided the college wasn't for me and I dropped out. Let me rephrase that, I stopped going to classes after the add/drop deadline, lost my funding that year (in fact had to pay back the school for some of it), and ended up with a semester of all F's. Not my smartest move.

After this happened, I met the woman who would become my wife, and a year later I moved to her city. The university she was attending caught my attention because it offered a writing program (which she was enrolled in), the one thing I wanted to be a part of. I sat in on some of her classes and decided this was the place for me. I applied, got accepted, received my financial aid, enrolled in classes, and in the Fall of 2006 I started my second attempt at post-secondary education. It was a great ride. I took all the writing classes I could, fit in a few literature classes, and eked by in my general studies. I even started to look into the Transition to Teaching program for after I graduated. I was working full time, so I only took between 12 and 15 credit hours at a time, putting me on a 5-year plan. It was great. That is, until the third year rolled around.

On Monday, October 13, 2008, it was announced to the whole student body that at the end of that academice year the university would be closing. All my plans were shattered. A college fair was held, but I was too depressed to consider other schools. I was finally getting my act together (or so I thought) and now this school was closing. I hid my anger and frustration by joking with people that "I dropped out of my first college, and my second college dropped out of me."

For a year after the school closed, I worked more and just spent my time with my fiancee. She helped me feel not too bad about my situation, but I think even she knew that I was in a rut that ran the risk of ruining me. So she, with the help of her mom, convinced me to try yet another school. Unlike the previous two, this was a public institution, so it was cheaper. Also, the school was well-populated and in no position to close. Finally, she tried telling me that I already had most of my classes taken, so it would take two years, tops, to get my degree.

After I got accepted, I met with my advisor who informed me that because of my one semester of F's and my poor work on many general education classes from my past college placements, I would need to take many classes I thought I didn't need to take. Also, it would require very nearly all A's in order for me to graduate on my schedule. That first semester was all general education classes, and most of them were science, the one subject I am the worst in. I didn't get any A's that semester. The next semester I started my pre-education program classes. I aced two of them, but did not pass another that was pass/fail. I missed it by 10 points. I started to get into my depressed state again, especially when I found out that I couldn't take that class in the summer.

Year 2: I could not enroll in the same education class because it was all full. Luckily, I was told that I could take the class from the new program and it would apply. So I took it and got an A. I even got an idea for a school I would like to one day open up. I had a literature class that I aced as well. My other classes brought in B's, and I needed to take another semester to bring my gpa up before I could be accepted into the education program. During the Spring semester I took another literature class, which I aced, and retook some of my lower-grade classes to try and do better so I could boost my gpa. I figured I would do better the second time around. I actually did worse. Somehow, though, I got my only lucky break. The school's rules for the program changed and the gpa being used was going to be specifically from that school, not from the others combined. I was allowed to sign up for block 1 education classes for the Fall.

Summer 2012: I took a mandatory class called issues in teaching writing. I was excited about this class because the one thing I do not struggle in is writing. However, I found the teacher's methods less than helpful. If I brought up the fact that I didn't agree with every part of an article we had to read, the teacher thought I was disagreeing with her because I didn't like her (her words). She penalized me for putting an abstract in an APA paper because she said we didn't need one, even though that is one of the main aspects of an APA paper. She had us read articles that were 20, 30, sometimes even 50 years old, but counted me off because one of my sources for my final paper was more than 5 years old. She told me my paper was poorly written and I didn't deserve to be a teacher. I sent my paper to other experts for their opinions, including the author of one of my articles, and they all agreed that the paper was really well written and made great points. In the end, she gave me a C-. I felt like I was unfairly judged by a woman who could neither write nor teach, yet taught a class on how to teach writing.

Year 3: I finally signed up for more education classes. Unfortunately, because of a literature class that I needed in order to graduate, there was one class I couldn't take. Instead I took an ASL class. Because of another difference in opinion, I received a C+ in one of my education classes. The other one garnered a B while my literature class and my ASL class both brought in A's during this semester I did in-class observation. The teacher I observed had me only grading papers and observing. All I observed while there was how horrible of a teacher she was (which I will talk about next time). In the Spring, I took my last block 1 education class, my fourth literature class in a row with the same professor, my second ASL class, and a child psychology class that would act as a bridge between the two educational psychology classes I would have to take almost a year apart.

This is the semester I just finished. It is also the first time since grade school that I ever received all A's. It was the first semester that truly gave me hope. I got my grades in and was allowed to sign up for all of my block 2 education classes and also signed up for my third ASL class. I got excited because it would be my fourth year at this college, my eighth year of post-secondary education classes, but also my last year before FINALLY receiving my degree. It is a great feeling in a country that has such a low graduation rate and after so much work, but it is a great felling also because I will be the first person in my family to ever graduate college. I was ecstatic. Until...

I was checking my financial aid status. My plan was to use student loans to help pay for rent while I spent my Spring semester student teaching, because I would only be able to work one day a week. I kept waiting for my loan status to show up. When it never did, I did some research and found out that last year I maxed out on my student loans and would not be able to get any more in this, my LAST YEAR as a bachelor's degree student.

I write this blog post for two reasons: first, I want to get you, my readers, caught up on my journey to becoming a teacher. Second, I wanted to show the obstacles I had to face in order to get here. I have dealt with a school closing on me, changing of education programs, horrible teachers, and lack of funding. I haven't actually gone into all of the obstacles I have had to deal with because that would take too long. I just keep wondering what's next. However, I also believe this is the last big obstacle I will have to face, and I believe my wife when she tells me that we will figure it out. I will graduate, no matter what it takes. I won't try, I won't just get to it. I will do it no matter what.

Really there is another reason for this post. This is for all of the people out there who think, I can't do it." You totally can. It's not going to be easy. It will frustrate you and make you want to give up, but when you finally get to that finish line you will feel better than ever. I know this, and I haven't even made it yet. Maybe college isn't right for you as this moment, but I think it is right for you at some point, and I just want you to remember that you are not alone. Good luck to you all.

Class dismissed.

Mr. H.

Teaching and the Test

This is (hopefully) the last summer before I start my student teaching in the spring of 2014. A couple of years ago I successfully passed the first of two tests I need to take before I start my student teaching, called the Praxis 1 or the PPST. This test is kind of like a glorified SAT. In other words, it's more of a general knowledge test. This summer I will be taking the second of these two tests, the Praxis II. This is a content knowledge test. as I will be teaching high school English, I will be taking the test dealing with literature, grammar, and composition. I could be like other teaching students and just take the test and hope for the best. This is too important for that. Not to mention too expensive. The test is a couple hundred dollars, so if I were to not pass it, that amount would grow exponentially. It's more than just that, though. I passed the first test the first time, and I plan to pass this test the time. That means lots of studying, which means getting the necessary books.

There's just one problem I am facing. While the first book I am studying appears to be helpful, it has one major flaw. The book I have is supposed to help me with grammar content knowledge, yet it is riddled with errors. There are typos and bits of misinformation that make me uneasy about studying from it. I went to my local library and found only one other book dealing with my content area. My fear is that this second book will have other problems with it as well. Should I trust these books and study them before I take this test or just use my own instincts and wing it? My practical side is telling me to study, but what if these books lead me astray? I don't want to hit more objectives than I already have. So much has gotten in my way already, I am just ready to graduate and start teaching. Anybody have any suggestions for books I can use to study? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Class dismissed.

Mr. H.

Orientation

Welcome to the classroom of a teacher-in-training. This blog will follow my progress through school and into the field of teaching. I look forward to hearing other people's thoughts about public education, private schools, funding, and the like. I want to make sure everyone feels welcome, so don't be afraid to raise your hand if you have a question or a comment. Every so often I will post polls to see what your thoughts are on education in general, ideas for the classroom, my teaching style, etc. Please, do not hesitate to let me know what you really think. I want to be a successful teacher when I graduate, and I know that an important way to achieve that is to keep the lines of communication open. So, that being said, why don't you go ahead and tell me a little bit about yourself. Are you in school right now? What year? Do you have any thoughts about education? Would you be willing to share them in front of the class? I hope to create a repoire with you, so I will say again: do not hesitate to speak up. Your voice is just as important as everybody else's, and I look forward to hearing it. Until then, have good day.

Mr. H.